Stupid Hypotheticals - Your Fellow Opponautomobile

"Lets Just Drive" (lets-just-drive) 02/03/2014 at 22:02 • Filed to: None

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It's gift giving time, the Oppo version - we're having a lottery rich Secret Senna and you're invited to buy any car for any Opponaut. Who do you buy what? There's no embargo on price, but all the legalese apply; import/export, license and insurance, etc... Also, Bandit and $kay are off the table because I'm using my veto-in-tandem-with-god-mode powers to award $kay the obvious GT and Bandit a Prius, because fuck Bandit (but not really). So? What about you who's?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:05

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You, sir, would receive this gem:

Lets Just Drive > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/03/2014 at 22:06

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How well you know me, so much better than my wife.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:06

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NewJalop98 gets the last E90 M3 coupe with a V8 init!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:07

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Let's just say, I know people.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:07

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Tell me who I got so I can award them a great personalized gift car.

Otherwise, they get a matte pink CTS-V Wagon with a Hello Kitty custom shag interior.

But it's also modified and makes 800hp...

Lets Just Drive > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 02/03/2014 at 22:08

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In this case, you just pick an Oppo and go.

You can pick multiple Oppo's, too. Because the first rule of Stupid Hypotheticals is that they're stupid and hypothetical.

puddler > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:09

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i don't know anyone well enough to play this game.

but methinks you need this:

Lets Just Drive > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/03/2014 at 22:12

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Am I close?

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:12

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Bandit a Prius, because fuck Bandit (but not really)

I laughed. I feel guilty about it though.

For Orlove:

And for some reason I can see Victorious Secret rocking this:

Lets Just Drive > puddler 02/03/2014 at 22:13

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Oddly, yes.

Please.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:13

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Ok, post edited to reflect that.

Lets Just Drive > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! 02/03/2014 at 22:14

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Only if matte.

Why? Because Victorious.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:15

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That is damn nice, sir, and I would do dirty things for one. But, not quite my all time favorite...

Lets Just Drive > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/03/2014 at 22:16

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New under pants, I need them.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:17

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Purdy much

scoob > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! 02/03/2014 at 22:17

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The Orlove car = you sir are a genius

Simplify, then add beer > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:19

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The best gifts are made, not bought.

So my team of engineers and I (what, you don't have a team of engineers?) Would create a vehicle for me to gift to fellow Opponauts.

The vehicle would be a wagon, with a removable hardtop to bring it back to a ute tray. There is a second roof panel above the front & passenger seat which is also removable for sunny days/

Engine configurations would either be a Supercharged big block, a 5 cyl turbo with Group B horsepower, or a dirty Diesel with a turbo the size of a watermelon. Each configuration will depend on the giftee. Only manual transmissions will be available.

Drivetrain will be a very lightweight AWD, with the central differential manually switchable to allow purely RWD (which can be locked), or FWD for tray table shenanigans.

Colours will be either baby poo brown, Gulf or Martini livery.

Orlove's will have a full roll cage. Torch will have a lojack with a remote kill switch

PRBot II > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:25

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For His Stigness (trololo):

For Automatch:

For MtrRider:

For Ian Duer:

For Sweden (because Volvo, trololo):

For Gamecat:

For you:

I could go on, but I'll just stop here.

midengineer > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:25

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I can only imagine this would be up JayZayeighty's alley.

Bandit > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:27

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Well fuck you too.

I want a prius. I want to strip the interior and engine and wheels and stuff from it. I want to install the subframe from an F-body in the back, a muncie rock crusher in the middle and I want an LSx up front. I also want side pipes and a greenpeace membership.

I want to be gifted this

Bandit > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! 02/03/2014 at 22:27

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You should http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/well-fuck-you-…

Lets Just Drive > PRBot II 02/03/2014 at 22:46

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Ian gets the best pick of all, for he can wash all our soiled britches.

RMudkips > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:47

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Yourstereotypicalindian

Lets Just Drive > Bandit 02/03/2014 at 22:47

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"Co-Driver" included.

PRBot II > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:47

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Hells yes!

Lets Just Drive > RMudkips 02/03/2014 at 22:48

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Really? I mean, I knew he went most of the way - but, Stance?! Really?!

Lets Just Drive > PRBot II 02/03/2014 at 22:49

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What do Gamecat and For Sweden have in common for their picks? Both will sit and leak while at low altitude. Ha!

RMudkips > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:51

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Oh, that'll be for the track. I think. I hope.

PRBot II > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:55

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Hahaha!!!

Dusty Ventures > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 22:59

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For Stef, because she's the most obvious after $kay and Bandit. Also she already has this in miniature form so now she can have a matching pair.

...also I'll secretly borrow it to compete in Safari Rally

desertdog5051 > PRBot II 02/03/2014 at 23:15

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Don't leave out F-86 Sabre for the plane.

PRBot II > desertdog5051 02/03/2014 at 23:20

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Same for Grindintosecond, Shiftsandgiggles, and maybe ontopofitall as well.

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 23:22

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I forgot the person's name at the moment right now, but he/she always posts three cars that nobody should ever have to suffer to dd/track/burn.

So I'd get that person his top three favorite cars and make him do the dd/track/burn in real life.

EVIIIIIILLLLLLLLL.

Dusty Ventures > Lets Just Drive 02/03/2014 at 23:29

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For SamCat

For Nobody

For Archduke

For Stigness